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With reasons like those she thought she was setting them both up for a good date….. And in our global society, these standards bleed into the standards of other countries. Though ping pong, Mei Aicai even found a girlfriend, and began to work hard at his major under her encouragement. Also African students are studying in China.

Meeting strangers on the street, clubs and make out. She was just dating this man as one of many other tasks to write about her experiences. She was rather surprise of the seriousness of dating in China, I think. Spencer; Comas, David; Tyler-Smith, Chris; Zalloua, Pierre A. I know a Japanese man who's married to a Black South African woman and they are doing just fine. What is ok for one culture is not ok for another. Most of the racism china is based on ignorance, not true malice. I have dated many races and all of them have had their good and bad dates. Wishing you and your husband a happy lifetime together. Australian soccer player was born to a Japanese mother and a Zimbabwean father. Ariel reports that in 2009, there were 27 Solo children in the kindergarten - more than a third of the total student population. I am at a point in my life were I am prime so I am very open to trying it again with a fresh perspective now that society has chinese dating black man up a bit.

Among this population exist many of lineage. Then, I was horrified all over again. So, everyday he went to the gymnasium to play ping pong and, as a result, he made many Ukrainian friends, and his Russian also gradually improved. It has nothing to do with the races and generalizing in such a way just perpetuates the negative image, we women who date Asian and Chinese men, have been fighting.

Asian dating - China's new emerging population of Afro-Asians also includes and.

It always amazes me when people judge an entire population of people based on just one date alone. But people do it all the time — including the author of. To be fair, I give her credit for going on a date with a Chinese man. So, definitely, kudos to her. She has every right to share what happened and voice her own opinions. What does bother me, however, is how she presents the information. But in fact, the post is focused on only ONE date! Just one, with only ONE guy. It was also a blind date — which, as anyone will tell you, can be a thorny situation no matter where in the world that date happens. The reality is, there are all kinds of Chinese men out there, and the potential for all kinds of dating experiences with them — both positive and. One date alone cannot possibly even scratch the surface of what dating Chinese men is really like. The more of us that publish thoughtful pieces that transcend the usual stereotypes and assumptions, the better for those readers searching for information on this topic. Recommended Posts on Dating Chinese Men:. Before you start dating Chinese men, you have to find them first. This post — a perennial favorite among readers — offers some great suggestions. I maintain a page that, chances are, might answer that burning question on your mind right now. These true stories of other Chinese men and Western women in love cover their dating experiences — so you can learn about dating Chinese men from many more voices than my own. Books on Dating Chinese Men. Additionally, I also posted about , since many of their experiences have resonated with me and others in the community. Another great way to explore dating Chinese men is through the many other women who have been there and written about it. Check out , and stay tuned for my 2013 list this coming March. What do you think? January 14, 2013 at 7:23 am Man…I got really upset reading her post! I LOVE chicken feet. Just shows she has no appreciation for good Chinese food. Then I read a few of her other posts on dating and got even more annoyed. Like the one where she said dating in China meant lowering her standards because most men smoke, are shorter than her, are looking to settle down, and are unadventurous outside AND inside the bedroom. Does that mean slapping some ass later and slapping more ass having fun in the future? You know seeing the apartment will have a high chance of getting kissed or be kissed. You know one date will not indicate anything about a person. I just like a person who will compromise with me. I see nothing wrong with eating chicken feet. Did she really eat chicken feet on her first date? All jokes aside here seriously. This is just lame. I can ask about having kids etc etc on the first date ;however, on the second date I will be fine WITHOUT having kids. All of you guys hear me talk here for a while already. Can you guess what kind of chinese man I am in person seriously? Hey, nice guys have anger and hot temper also but I use anger for a good cause for fighting against bad people. Of course, If I talk to you the first time, I will NOT reveal all my beliefs and all the things I like to do and where I like to go. Does this make sense to you non-asian women out there? I went out on a first date with a white woman yrs ago and yrs ago. Also I just moved to this state. If I spent more dates and time with her maybe she would open up and maybe we would have been married. I am sorry but this is such BS. Consider the fears many of us encounter before embarking on a multicultural relationship, and then the less expressive asian culture. There are many men out there not just chinese who date for shallow ridiculous reasons. And this points exactly to that. Another set of voices online is the darker skinned foriegn women who have different compalints Namely these guys either wont date them or wont commit. But every once in a while you hear genuine stories of people from different culture who have encountered difficulties and still remain in love. I think the person I happen to be with is great in his own way, his chinese ness included. She shouldnt have titled the post so, but apart from that I see very little wrong with it. The guy on the contrary does give chinese men a bad name. Like the cultural stereotypes propogated, or ideas associated with any culture read asian are conservative, westerners are more open minded bla bla. Its not right, but its something so common place that we all engage in it at some level somehow. Condemning it seems a holier than thou approach to a genuine cognitive shortcoming of the human mind. I have dated many races and all of them have had their good and bad dates. It has nothing to do with the races and generalizing in such a way just perpetuates the negative image, we women who date Asian and Chinese men, have been fighting. I am going to post something too on my blog under the same title, maybe then we can bury post with positive ones. She probably wanted to have some fun and not necessarily wanted to settle down, and the man had complete different thoughts. I think it is stupid to dump a date because of age. But I agree the title of her post is not be a good choice. Although some readers might miss it, I think those who read the blog very closely will notice that this British woman was dating a Chinese man only as a project in connection with writing a general column about interracial dating. She was just dating this man as one of many other tasks to write about her experiences. My only guess is that she has also dated men of many other ethnicities, including non-Asians such as African-Americans and Latinos. I do oppose her post, or at least the implications from it, or how she characterized the date. Her use of sarcasm was mean-spirited. That said, you have to be fair and realize that if her description of the date is accurate, the man was unworthy. At some point, you have to put your foot down, and even if she is the foreigner in another land, if this man truly wanted to get to know her better, that means respecting her cultural norms and she must respect his. He ought to take charge. He should be proactively planning the date. He should maintain an interesting and active conversation with her to express his desire to get to know her better. The Asian men that truly desire to be with western women in body, mind, and soul have the initial responsibility of bridging the cultural gap. In the internet age, there is absolutely no excuse for social ineptness or provincialism, and if he desires her that much, he needs to learn. He needs to learn English. He needs to refrain from smoking and spitting in the street. He needs to take care of his teeth and adopt decent hygenic habits. He meets one, falls in love, and realizes she is the one he has always been looking for in his life. And he wants to take her back to Japan and make her his wife to live with him in his land. I suppose it could happen…. For both western men and women, the idea of finding love in a foreign country and bringing them back to the United States is not uncommon. The reverse, however, is very rare. If foreigners from all over the Globe came to the U. Historians have been studying and writing about the legacy of imperialism and colonialism for a long time now. There is no question that English, American popular culture, fashion, and beauty standards still very much dominate the scene in the non-western world. Because she hated looking like an Asian. Are you aware of any medical procedures designed specifically to make a white person look less white? The very idea is ludicrous, but these procedures exist — for the non-whites. I do apologize, Jocelyn, for making these remarks to the extent they offend, but I sincerely feel they need to be said. I am only saying that sometimes, we can be unwilling participants in a system that benefits some, but denigrates others. I believe this blogger you identified was precisely such a person — she judged her date based exclusively from her Western viewpoint. How do we move beyond such a system? The above can also apply to westerners; those who will do anything to obtain a body, or a face that they consider to be beautiful or desirable. They go to extremes of changing themselves through surgery to fit an image that they perceive to be perfect. These images of so call perfection is bombarded through media , advertisement, fashion magazines etc and for some reason reason we talk ourselves into believeing it must be so….. She was rather surprise of the seriousness of dating in China, I think. I was surprised of it at first too, and I agree most Chinese take dating as business,which I highly dislike. Because it is hardwired into our brains, by family, friends, community, and the media collectively. And the full spectrum of women here minority women, teens, college-aged, 30s and 40s are pressured or downright influenced by these standards. I think in 2013, we should be through with blaming the victims. We should be identifying and blaming the perpetrators. They go to extremes of changing themselves through surgery to fit an image that they perceive to be perfect. These images of so call perfection is bombarded through media , advertisement, fashion magazines etc and for some reason reason we talk ourselves into believeing it must be so….. And in our global society, these standards bleed into the standards of other countries. What do you think it does? And how much of an effect do you think it will have on the men who reside in your land? I have smaller bones, and more slender features. My face is round, not chiseled. My hair is harder, dryer, and more challenging to wave or style. I have a genetic predisposition to be near-sighted. And, yes, community, demographics, media in the west, and now the Globe have classified me as a beta, not an alpha. I have no intention of discouraging western women from dating and loving Asian men. I agree too that the McD statement she used sardonically illustrates how I have usually read about interracial dating. Look, love is a wonderful thing and should not be put in such unnecessary scrutiny. But dating is a different game altogether. That, sadly, is a fact. I am not sure you can demand most people to display a level of self-censorship for a certain cause. Some drama makes life more interesting. Also, the fact you deny the negative experience is also not helping to see all individuals. So I will take it in if there is something worthy. Look at the issue fairly from both sides, and try to understand why. It can be inspiring. Reading about tea party and Boston massacre. But I did meet my fiance, he is Chinese, we fell in love and are getting married, and we actually plan to live in China… falling in love caused me to change my own plans about the future and place my career the original reason I came to Asia on the back burner. I re-read my comment, and I think you are right it does imply this stereotype, which was unintended. I do believe a double-standard exists which tends to favor the latter. I was elaborating on this theme. I only say that because western standards generally do not ascribe masculinity or attractiveness to an Asian man, and so it takes a special type of woman i. She is surrounded by mainstream reinforcement, and she gets all the trimmings from that society. Before I married, my ex-girlfriend was a sister. My next ex-girlfriend was a wonderful girl who lived in a small town in Wisconsin. My next girlfriend was a single divorcee, who was agoraphobic. My wonderful wife was bullied in school, and goth. Each of them was a western woman. They related to me somehow. They have a different look. I wasnt a cheerleader but I was never consider uncool and never had any problems dating boys. Came to China for working reasons and because is a good place to travel around Asia, not looking for an easy way to get a man. I met my current boyfriend and I liked him since I saw him, call me superficial or whatever but he was just too good-looking, as u can see based on the kind of men I dated before I like tall athletic type this one happened to have a charming personality and a great sense of humor… so not all chinese men are geeks and definitely not all are consider unattractive, all my friends and family told me how handsome my boyfriend is.. Personally, what is beautiful and what is handsome to you anyway? Asian men are not ugly. You make yourselves ugly in the eyes of westerners. It takes me 9 yrs to recover from an injury. Your personality is very important to women. Having the physique in the beginning will only get you in the door but you have to have the patience to endure longlasting problems from a relationship. Your 1 responsibility is to fix your personality first. In the past, people said that a tall woman would match my height but I told them that short woman who was cute and caring was fine too. Here is a real true incident that happened to me last month. One white woman slim body with 2 piece bikini was hitting on me while I walked by. Alot of women like to talk me and they really want to know more about me by asking lots of questions. Some white women even gave me eye contacts and smiled at me. You know in western societies, you have to let your personality explodes like firecrackers. Hit them in all angles with your personality. Freaking talk them to death okay and they will respect you. We are a Chinese wife and American husband couple. Congratulations on your marriage! I think that cross cultural marriages are a wonderful way for people to get outside their shells and get to know the world around them. It has sometimes been very challenging but Minxi and I have a great time! Best of luck to you! Besides its title, it simple describes her experience with 1 Chinese man which she clearly stated. She never really generalized anything here? Well the title was generalizing, SO WHAT! Everyone does this to increase and attract readership, enticing people with sensationalistic titles! Main reason why I subscribe to blogs are for their opinionated insights into their own experiences. I just think attractiveness is personal and varies greatly… it is conditioned by culture to a point but even cultural norms of what is attractive vary over time. Is that what all Korean men find attractive? Do men from some other cultures find that attractive? Do men from other cultures find that unattractive? I think Jocelyn was right in writing this post. Although the author of the other blog said the date was one time, blind, and not even because she was interested in the guy but because it was for this project, she still presented it not only in the title, but in her whole story as if that date was a good example of what a date with a Chinese man will in all likelihood be like. Just read the comments on the post. Come on but the fact that the date was a Chinese man, I think that is just casual! Ahahha this comment is to be commented.. Such a small mind! That girl should also consider another option: Before starting to type in her blog she should open a word documen and type, non-stop! She could write her feelings, and all what she wants in that word. After that she can open her blog and start to write, she would feel more relaxed. Ok this one just makes me feel frustrated and cry. If this is the final situation and need to leave the country and live appart then maybe I open a blog just for that topic! She has mentioned that people in China have bad manners like spitting in the streets and giving you the elbow in order to get on a crowded bus instead of standing in line. And she has mentioned how this behavior is exactly the opposite in Hong Kong where she enjoyed visiting briefly not long ago. Maybe she just went out with this guy just to prove her point to her readers that dating Chinese men is a bad idea. Whatever it is her date is a complete jerk. Being a Chinese local, this guy should have done his homework and planned their date thoughtfully in order to impress her. Calling her a whore when their date did not work out is despicable. No lady deserves to be called a whore. For the sake of all Chinese men and Asian men in general, I hope Chinese nationals clean up their acts. They give me and all Asian men a bad image. She had a bad experience, and I hope she reads my post some day.. My best date has been with my, since then, boyfriend, he is a Chinese national and he impressed me in many ways. We met right in front of the place we saw each other for the first time, he was holding a hot drink for us when I arrived, talked about his hobbies, life, made me laugh, …he was.. I have never had so much time before. It was a very friendly moment and we both learned a lot from each other. What I want to say, is that is mroe than possible to find your other half! What is ok for one culture is not ok for another. Unfortunately, I have to say most white women stereotype all men of East Asian ethnicity based on their experience with some Chinese national. I will bet that the woman who wrote the blog will not even date an Asian American guy whose family has been in the US for several generations. Verbal skill or IQ is about maninpulation of others brain, not about finding truth. Good verbal IQ mean good salesmanship which bring you higher income, better price for your goods, more award including nobel prize , better legal outcome regardless true responsiblility. Chinese social skill is like bad salesman who constantly say how bad his product is. Self-critism is not natural for most human in this world. Yet, Chinese often strangely demonstrate that. On the other hand, truth finding is for engineer or scientist. But good verbal IQ get silver lining. I found it interesting when Jocelyn pointed out not giving someone a second chance. Probably Jocelyn has become more Chinese. That blog shows cultural divide and the same old notion of gender equality that puts Asian guys in disadvantages. There is a lot of truth to it. MOST chinese nationals can be extremely wealthy but their mannerism and social skills still lack something.. Maybe it will take 30- 50 more yrs to change that just like HK etc. I lived in HK before. No bribery will be accepted or else take your ass out to be executed including high ranking officials. We should start with high ranking officials first on executing so it will set a good example to follow. Ask yourself a very smart question here. How do kids are going to learn the good habits? You can bang your heads on the wall while reading all my comments but please write to your high ranking officials and get the god damn problems fixed. Okay I will compare with you. Look at Japan for example… Where do you see people elbowing each other , spitting in public or littering in public? Japanese people are very polite in public and obey laws and orders. Look at Singapore on sanitation laws. If you smuggle drugs into Singapore, execution tomorrow no question ask! South Korea is clean too. How come these countries are so successful in sanitations? You mean China can not change a bit on that problem. Yes, they can by kicking out most high ranking officials. Why there are laws in a country? Once they are passed, police depts have to enforce those laws. Kind of amusing in some ways that people feel so strongly about these topics. I think, aside from the important topics like discrimination, stereotyping, etc, we should realize that it is human nature to desire to be with people who are similar and familiar to us. It is only natural for people of the same ethnicity, race, culture to feel the inclination to stay together. It take a great amount of effort and courage to be willing to step outside our familiarities. Much of the discrimination is simply the result of fear of the unknown. Even within one ethnicity, people discriminate each other all the time. As a Chinese, sadly I have to admit that we are in fact one of the most discriminatory people. Perhaps, some self reflection is much needed? On the other hand, as the world continue to globalize, more and more people will intermarry. Sadly no African yet. There is always hope. Your accent is different from mine. Of course, you dumb ass. I know that mainland Chinese men need to educate themselves on dating western women. Who freaking asks about marriage and the of kids you are going to have on the first date? Well, women are very sensitive on age. I told you guys that we have to get rid of those high ranking officials who have been making Chinese people suffered for decades. From generals to mayors to policemen all the way.. How can a low ranking mayor has 4 lamborginis, 3 ferrari and 40 mistresses in every cities? Officials get all the money on the side for their personal uses and pretend there is no budget to maintain those facilities. Now you know why I keep on saying that you have to get rid of high ranking officials all the time. I truly dislike it when people generalise and proclaim to be experts on something they have only tried once. I feel that gal is more hurt by the fact she was insulted by the guy. So she had a bad date. It does not give her the right to talk the way she does, like she knows it all and is a super expert on everything. But it makes for interesting conversations with my other half who has never dated a Western girl either and just does the best he can, namely love me. Know it alls like this one annoy me. Maybe he thought she had already fallen for him the fact that she agreed to go out with him. That would be really funny. No thanks to him. He gave Chinese guys another black eye. If you think dating is serious in China, you should learn about Indian culture. One of my Indian colleagues graduated from college and joined our high-tech company last year. To my surprise two months later he told me he got engaged and filed a vacation request to get married! She was more critical of Chinese guys from mainland China. Anybody who has been to both mainland China and Hong Kong or Taiwan can tell the difference. People in Hong Kong and Taiwan are more westernized. Let me tell you here that people are used to getting hooked up all the time.. It saddens me that something like that would be able to paint AMWF relationships in general. I, like you probably did, have dated various ages and social classes. Guys with accents, guys without, guys with good English, guys with bad. Fortunately for the reputation of Chinese men, there are plenty of women who thoroughly enjoy them. I guess having fun and not being soo god damn serious means that she just wants casual sex, making out etc.. I think we should alll have fun for a while.. Meeting strangers on the street, clubs and make out.. All of us at some point, we want to have some fun but for how long? He said it was fun for a while but it was lonely even though you had 6 women every week. I was … well… initially, horrified. Then, I was horrified all over again. The idea that she works as a columnist only worsens the situation. With reasons like those she thought she was setting them both up for a good date….. Secondly, this place is difficult to get to by public transport and he had told me he was bringing his car, so I thought I should take advantage of this. Thirdly, there is nothing like spending your first real date with someone in your underwear. It helps break down barriers. The second point: Materialistic but each to their own. It pains me that others will read posts like hers…. Jump in the bushes and make out. Why waste time and money at a spa? Lesson 1 : Never ask about marriage issues or how many kids your date wants to have!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything will fall into place later on. Some men or women are very very very very very hard to please. No matter how well you treat them, they will still have something to say. I can please you for a short period of time only. More posts with reliable information. But, will they write all white men including white American men off because a white male in South Africa they were dating murdered his girlfriend? I think the answer is obvious. Did you have a bad experience that is causing you to group all White American women into one group the way you claim they group all East Asian men? Despite all of the evidence only on this thread that White American women and other Western women WILL date East Asian men after having bad experiences you still insist on posting vague, general, and unhelpful comments like yours? Sara Living a Dream The way some Chinese men have to bend their ways to please women is not ideal quality. Many relationships end up being built on gratitude and duty instead of love and passion. Look at the way, she speaks about people… Going for a date with Chinese man is like trying local food? Taking advantage of him having his car to go to a spa? Anyway, it gives you even more credit for your work and making sure some valuable informations and opinions are on the Internet, apart from this unbelievable crap. Wishing you and your husband a happy lifetime together. We live together and he gave me a beautiful engagement ring last year. All the stereotype characteristics that I heard and read are completely false. He is the best lover, the most caring, smart, open-minded, funny, adventurous, respectful and generous man I have ever known. He loves taking care of me and treats me like a queen. Other than this issue, and it is a big one for me that I am trying to learn to live with, he is a dream boyfriend. She honestly sounds like a pain-in-the-xxx by the comment about wanting to see how he would handle being half naked. What is that supposed to even reveal about him? Who would feel comfortable being half naked on a first date? What normal woman would have the need to know this on a first date? She sounds antagonistic and a bit shallow like she only cared about getting a free spa day. Coming from a woman who has dated a Chinese man for five years and has known many other Chinese men, her representation about Chinese men in general was absurd. My wife looks at my text all the time day and night. Now I think everything is just BS on the internet. What I have noticed was that they are amazing, strong minded, considerated and very caring. My mom is fearless and very strong minded woman so when people talk about Asian women who are submissive and that really makes me angry. Nobody wants to face the real data instead they rather want the t. Think about what I say here most women are not attracted to nice guys. What a waste if you lose him over little things. Normally, Most Chinese men will treat women very well due to the fact that Chinese moms are close to the sons.